Day 4 – Milk, Diapers and other sad stories…
This was supposed to be the last day at the refugee camp. We agreed with the director of the camp we would deliver milk and diapers on this day to as many refugees as we could. We would also continue with our consultation like yesterday. After all, we wanted to help as many refugees as possible during our stay.
It was chaotic times. First of all, we got a list of names chosen because of certain criteria (those in very need as we couldn´t give to everyone). My initial problem was the fact that I had not read kurdish properly for 15 years. Thankfully, I can still read arabic, and since the kurdish and arabic letters are mostly the same, it was to some help. But still, my slow reading and the handwriting of another person, didn´t make things easier. Never in a million years, did I believe that it would be possible for me to read so much kurdish in such a short time - and actually be to some use for others.
One of the major problems we encountered was the fact that we didn´t have enough milk and diapers. This meant that everyone couldn´t receive our help, and it caused a lot of problems for us and the refugees. The refugees couldn´t understand why we chose some people over others that also were in real need. And we couldn´t help the fact that we couldn´t provide for the whole camp. It broke our hearts everytime we had to tell them "if your name is not on the list, we can´t give you. We are really sorry". Does it feel sincere to you? Saying no when someone is asking for your help? I felt so bad every time I had to say those words. My stomach twisted and my throat felt even more dry than when I was dehydrated. How could I be so evil? How? How could I look them in the eyes and tell them no?
Did you just say that life is unfair?